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Vallila

So, I have moved to Vallila, a part of Helsinki. Vallila is perfect for someone like me, surrounded by secondhand-shops and people that look miserable just like me. Vallila is the place where you can go to the supermarket in your pyjamas and no-one raises a brow. Vallila is just the place where you can hide behind curtains and do what ever you like, and it won´t be called wrong. I like this place.

My animals showing things like they really are

Pete and Beverli

and more pics here

Longing

"There's a land far from here, far far away from home," he sings to the horizon. "You can't get there by boat."

...... . . . .. . . . . . . . . .

Köksfönstervy

This am seeing self when I see out per the window.
The is mine nya köksfönstervy.
I have displaced here today.
A sentiment of peace had nått me.

Jag känner mig lite konstig just nu.....eller, self feels me few queer currently

Jag vill inte ha barn.
Om jag får ett barn gör jag en ny människa.
Jag behöver inga fler människor. Speciellt inte barn.

.......:::::::::::: ... . .. . . .. . .
Same text translated through InterTran:

"I will nots have children. If self sheep one baby do self another mans. Self requires inga multi folk. Especially nots baby."

Jag gillar speciellt det där "multi folk".


Found in the dentist´s waiting room in Antigua, Guatemala

Den satans kærlighed

Förresten. Många tycks köpa säng just nu. Vad ska det betyda? Översvämning?

Many feel buys beds currently. What ska the signifies? Overflow?

Jag har kommit hem nu

Med andra ord ska jag försöka hålla mig något så när uppdaterad här. Komma med lite påståenden som "avokador är som gjorda för guacamole" eller "hon var så fransk att hon till och med hostade på franska."
Jag har lite längtat efter det här, att komma tillbaka till Finland och slippa svettas. Tillbaka till morgonkaffet och prylarna. Och nu när jag är här saknar jag bara Guatemala. Jag har till och med redan letat upp ett nytt projekt i vilket man jobbar med djur och mailat och frågat vad det kostar och om jag kan komma i oktober eller november, haha. Inte för att jag har tänkt åka. Men som en backup om det skulle hända något så drastiskt som att jag verkligen inte skulle stå ut med livet i Helsingfors. Man måste vara beredd på allt, annars lever man inte. Man måste ibland kolla vad vissa flygbiljetter kostar, inte för att man ska åka, utan för att man helt enkelt måste kolla vad de kostar.

Random pictures from the last few weeks

Went to Utila, got a room for free, including a semi-crazy doctor who gave this sign to Tom to walk around with.

Utila was all about dancing with random people in the streets. Even if just for a few seconds.

There is a certain charm with those local buses. Sometimes everything is so right its almost scary. The light, the sun, the people and the music from the radio. You want to stop time and keep that moment as a souvenir close to your heart forever.

There is a reason why Central America is Central America and Europe is just Europe.

After coming back to Casa Guatemala I looked into an old suitcase in our house and found 6 rat babies. Cute.

And of course - it pisses me off.

I am back in Rio Dulce after a short trip to Utila, Honduras.
Utila is a beautiful island, you go there with a boat, Utila Princess bounching through the waves for more than 1 hour, making all tourists puke and feel shit because we dont understand we have to keep an eye on the horizon.
Utila is also all about diving. The island is swarming with dive-centers and cool diving-people, but I didnt take the time to do a course. I was fine with snorkling, which I think is a further less complicated version of getting under the surface, and still youre having almost the same experience. When people put on wet-dresses and start fumbling with their complicated meters and whatnot that belong to the diving-business, I want to put on my non-existant heavymetal suit, groam, play Slayer, puke all over and scream undefined bad words.

Then we went to the biggest techno what ever music festival in the Caribbean (thats what they say) Sunjam 08. Its like a smaller version of the Thai fullmoon-parties and I wanted to go just to know what its all about.
Sunjam its just one of these parties that acts like its on MTV, with halfnaked girls, bikinies, expensive T-shirts and neverending bad techno music. The only difference between Sunjam and MTV is that you cant turn off Sunjam. Youre trapped in a stupid beach-show and have to act the same as everybody else, have to dance, have to say "this is aaawsome, just fantastic, I am sooo happy..." and of course - it pisses me off.

IT PISSES ME OFF that there are festivals like this, that are made only for tourists, which are not even aware of what they are doing. The entrance for Sunjam is 40$ which clearly puts the frames on it - real working Honduran people are not welcome. Only rich bastards with a fortune can afford 40$ for a night out, and all the tourists are rich bastards.
I feel ashamed that I go to Honduras to attend a festival that the majority of the Honduran population never will experience.

At least, I can say I survived Sunjam.
Photos coming up soon.

Human thoughts

People are leaving and people are arriving here at Casa Guatemala. I am in a weird mood, feeling more alien than ever, actually struggling to be human, to talk and do all those things that humans like to do, like going to Sunjam in Honduras tomorrow.
I just hope I can make it without exploding or being too weird and putting people off or scaring people or what ever. But I feel the BIG CRAZINESS coming up. Theres nothing to do about it.

Future

What ever you do, theres always this stupid "future" lurking around the next corner, saying "so what did you think you were going to do with me??"

Last day in Hotel Backpackers

Have been having a break for a while. One week of travelling like any other traveller around in Guatemala. Its something about me and travelling, I am never overwhelmed. I keep looking for things beyond the viewes. Theres something with only the names of those places; Lago Atitlan, Antigua, Monterrico... I guess fifty years ago these places were beautiful and calm, but now they are just full of US. Full of money, Americans, Australians and Europeans, which gives me a strange feeling I should just stay home instead.
Tomorrow I am heading back to the Orphanage in Rio Dulce for another two weeks. Guess I will be teaching arts and crafts as before, which I enjoy.
I have just started to think about what comes next already. Finland or Mexico? Music or freedom? I have no idea.

Guatemala

YES, Jesus actually was here the other day.











Me and Cris working hard in Hotel Backpackers.

Dance floor gone mad











Jesus, me and Peter









Descanso en Lago Atitlan









Me and Cris riding a motorcycle in Antigua










The fantastic fly-eater friend at Casa Guatemala.

World Experiences

Jaha. Sa var man i teven.

Yeeeees

Jag vill hem och gora musiiiik!! Nuuuuuuuu med manga un.
Sen ett citat:
"Sjalv har jag langt till graviditeten eftersom det ju fan inte finns nagra karlar. Men skengraviditeter finns det gott om. Haha."

Too many weeks

There is never time for anything here. I read all the posts i get and just want to tae 5 hours off to respond, but NO TIME! Thats new for me, as I used to spend many hours on the internet before, and now like half an hour every week...
I guess that is good.
Now I am a teacher in art and tuff, so thats like my thing. Wish i would have more visions and plans on what to do with all those kids that rush into my classes and go wild. I still cant remember what is the word for scissors in Spanish..
Rigt. Have to go. AGAIN. Wish I could bury myself here for 5 hours.

Love.

2nd week

Here is hot. Thats all I can think of. I am fine.
You dont feel like writing and analyzing in this place, its like the sun is erasing all reasoning and you find yourself just sitting on a bench, empty-headed.

Finally in Casa Guatemala

Hello. I am here now, on that other side of the planet, or the right side or what ever you want to call it. Had both an easy and hard time to get here, as my luggage got lost and my throat got sick and all such things.
Then I came to the volunteers house and was quite scared the first three days as I thought everything was kind of a disaster. My task here is to be the gym teacher and I have classes just like a regular teacher and kids who are both nice and not very nice.
In the evenings we have other activities with the children and all stuff I could write about just to bore you to death.
Anyway, I love the fact that there are cows walking around everywhere around my house. I love the fast that the monkeys and pigs are screaming at night. I love the fact that there can be terrible spiders hiding behind my bed and climbing over my legs at night when I dont know it. I love observing the other volunteers in the evening and just listening to people and what they have to say. I have stopped drinking coffee adn everything else. The food they serve at the orphanage are seen like allright or straight from hell. I belong to the allright-bunch. I just eat. Rice and beans, beans and rice, tortillas and overcooked vegetables.
You connect with some of the kids and others not much, I havent actually been that forward either, I let them come and talk to me if they want to, but I think they have seen so many volunteer people just coming and going and all wanting to be their best friend, so I thought Id give them a break.
I have thoughts about people in groups ans how I just cant stand groups. People in gropus become stupid and unreasonable. Kids in groups are not much better.

I wonder what I will write in one month, cause now there are just too many influences now at once, I cant really keep my head clear from anything.
Today will be the first beer in years it seems. I need it. The local beer is called Gallo. I fucking speak Spanish now.

White Nights

Woke up in the middle of the night and saw this in my window.
My favourite time of the year is here. The time of the White Nights! The time of sweet insomnia!

Jetlagged after Copenhagen or one hour - what a strain!

If you sometimes by mistake happen to look at your life from another person´s perspective, it might look more fun again. But unfortunately, mostly you´re trapped in your own body and are forced to walk around thinking your own thoughts, and they usually make you neither happy nor smart.




Running hurts but the after effect is kinda nice. Either you eat cakes all day long and look like shit but feel happy or you run once in a while and eat those cakes and the cakes disappear and you look kinda good, but are you happy?
Does this make any sense? Of course not. Give me a job, please.

Enough rubbish.
Tillbaka i byhålan efter en veckas småsvirande i Köpenhamn och Malmö. Kom fram till att jag kunde flytta ner dit närsomhelst igen, för att jag bara trivs så förbannat bra där! Det är som ett andra hem för mig, och det där med att jag pratar danska bättre än finska kanske har en viss betydelse, vem vet.
I alla fall, det var vackert i Köpenhamn. Och allt var lite underligt, eftersom jag hälsade på gamla goda vänner samtidigt som jag var där med en som det var meningen att jag skulle vara kär i. Nu ska jag inte gå in på detaljer, men det blir ju så lätt så! Jag spelade lite apa fast jag inte ens var full och det var inte så lyckat. Fransmännen tittade oförstående på mig och så blev allt lite svårt och odefinierbart.
Kan man få jetlag efter att ha varit i Köpenhamn? Isåfall har jag det nu.



Eftersom jag har varit borta har det som vanligt hänt EN MASSA
Ryssland vann eurovisionen! Jeee! Skitmusik som vinner, I love it. Finnar som blir sura och får mindervärdighetskomplex, give me more!!! Finland sämst av de nordiska bidragen, hurra hurra hurra! Ska dom lära sig nu att heavy inte funkar tre år i rad? Vad hände med Finland som ett land som kommer med "nyskapande bidrag?" INGENTING! För det hände aldrig! Lordi var en slump. Muahhahahahahaha. Hejdå skitfinland.
Hej Morten Suurballe.

Sjuttonde maj

Bilvårdsämbare och beståndsdelar

...eller annat underhållande man kan hitta i Borgåbladet.

A place for friends my ass

Extrance of childhood, entrance of youth (at 27)

Don´t hair

Twain was wrong

....and lots of lots of more hilariously funny stuff here

Fynd från Borgåbladets webbplats

I just don´t get this fellow

What does one mean when one stick his tongue out like that?
He could mean like ANYTHING!
People write like "so let´s see" and that smilie
or "I think the weather is good today" and that smilie
or
"I could spank you right now" and this smilie
or anything
or anything
but what does he mean?
I want to ERASE him cause I don´t understand him.

I met myself today

I talked to myself today. Well yes, she had another name and was seven years younger than me, but she could have been me.
It was kind of a young author who has just won a price. She has stopped planning and think that everything will come her way anyway, she was happy, calm and satisfied.
I got a strong intuition of just grabbing this little girl, look her in the eyes and say: NO! It won´t! Cause I saw myself seven years ago in that girl. I almost heard myself talking to myself seven years ago, happily 20-years-old with the world at my feet, writing poetry and happy in general. I said to her that I also stopped planning when I was 20, but I didn´t say that I also thought everything was going to come my way, but it didn´t. Cause things just don´t work that way. I kind of said now I am 27 and look at me. I wanted to look like a warning, maybe I was.
I said that I have been travelling and living randomly for many years now, I felt like I was in the same age as her and at the same time much older, it was so weird...
But I wanted to warn her! I wanted to tell her that life is so much harder than she will ever expect, at the same time I didn´t want to destroy her positivity, but I wanted to tell her to PLAN HER LIFE, plan and follow your own rules like there´s no other opportunity, I wanted to tell her to please follow her plans and don´t end up like me when you´re 27. Then I wanted to cry.