Fuck Christmas trees

I was born spruce.
I want to stay spruce.

Christmas Calendar

I am in the middle of making an alternative Christmas Calendar.
It contains strips and stories collected from my sick mind.
Feel free to contact me if you want one.

Flamingo Spa - på besök i en mardröm

Jag har idag besökt något av det mest smaklösa, kräkframkallande, rentav skräckinjagande man kan tänka sig att står till buds för "den som vill roa sig lite i huvudstadsområdet" - nämligen FLAMINGO SPA - lyckligt inpackat i Jumboköpcentrets sköte, mitt bland körfilarna och fabrikerna kring Sjöskogs flygplats i Vanda.
Först ska man alltså ta sig ut ur stan och - sen står man med en stor betongvägg gapande emot en, och inbjudande glasdörrar - Flamingo - en neongrön fågelkrake önskar en välkommen.
Flamingo Spa är inrett som om högstadie-elever, Teneriffaresenärer och Citymarkets avskedade designer hade fått bestämma om hur ett utrymme ska se ut. Man har imiterat en badstrand, fast med kakel, så man ska vada utåt i djupet - SOM OM man vore utomlands, SOM OM man vore på en strand. FAST MAN ÄR I FUCKING VANDA INLÅST I EN GRÅ BETONGKLOSS MED GRÖNA REGNVÅTA NEONSKYLTAR PÅ UTSIDAN! Vattnet är pissvarmt, man kan bara föreställa sig hur ungars pissreflex igenast slår på så fort de går ner i vattnet. Man kan åka omkring i en ström, runt runt i en cirkel flera varv, man kan ligga och vräka sig på en undervattensbänk medan kaskader av bubblor strömmar över ens ben, man kan sänka sig ner i en ännu varmare bubbelpool och bli dåsig och mindre vetande på fem minuter. Omkring en välver sig groteska vattenrutchbanor som snirklar sig ut ur ett plastigt, brunt torn som ska likna vara djungelinspirerad men som aporna hade sprungit långt ifrån vid blotta åsynen. Och något av det värsta - man kan iklädd sin simppare, sina grodfötter eller vad helst man önskar lalla omkring iklädd i den tryckande inomhusvärmen, ta sig en cappuccino "vid havsranden" I ETT CAFÉ SOM HETER "MAYA" och är aztekinspirerat, dvs är pyntat med stora, skitbruna block som ska vara träimitationer med fejk-inristningar och man vill SKRIKA OCH SPRINGA BORT OCH DÖ JUST DÄR!
Det har också placerats ut SOLSTOLAR på sina ställen så att man kan ligga där och pressa i lampskenet, SOM OM man vore utomlands, SOM OM man kunde bli brun.
20 euro ska dom ha för att man i två timmar ska beblanda sig med så dålig smak att frågan är om den nånsin kan duschas av en.

Inspiring update

Lotta is tired and is working, is working and is tired and sometimes riding buses but most trams. Lotta is thinking of the next step in any direction but isn´t sure what it´s gonna be. Let´s just fart while waiting.

Terrifying cow

Michele Allen from Ohio was supposed to promote a fun-fair dressed as a cow, but instead went nuts, frightened children and peed on the street. She went to prison and shouted "Suck my nipples!" and sat in the prison still in her cow-outfit.
I kinda like this girl.

Discoveries in Helsinki

The good times are killing me

The next one might be you

An undercover massmurderer





Definitely an undercover massmurderer

Oktober

If nothing happens here it´s because it´s October.

Hedlundakyrkan erbjuder cannabis

Här

Absinth

-makes you forget those unnecessary parts of the night.
Forever.

(Det har inte gått åt helvete)

Det finns en massa budskap om att man ska göra precis det man vill och att man ska följa sitt hjärta, men det finns inga handböcker som skriver om vad man ska göra när det går åt helvete.

Eller jo, det finns men vem fan läser dom?


Och tänk om man är en riktigt jävla bra konstnär eller musiker men inte har nån lust att visa vad man gör. Gör det en till en mindre/större/mer respekterad/fjantigare/mer respektabel artist?

Welcome to Finland!

–the land where even the flags look sad

Nine down

I did this while waiting for the blind to do their fysio-therapy. An older woman saw my drawing and asked me if I do it for my job and I said no, I just do some pics and logos for bands once in a while (that's a lie). Then she told me her husband has a band "Backstage Boys" and that they play swing and stuff. I nodded and smiled. Meanwhile some guy shot nine people dead in Kauhajoki.

"The happiest day of my life"

Worst wedding pic?

Slavoj Žižek!

"In order to understand today´s world
we need cinema, literally.
It is only in cinema that we get that crucial dimension
which we are not yet ready to confront in our reality.

If you are looking for what is more real than reality itself,
look into the cinematic fiction."

..,m.,xzvmz.,z..vv..v.v..v............,,.sa..wenh.anwehn.,w.hh...

"Think about the strangeness of today's situation. Thirty, forty years ago, we were still debating about what the future will be: communist, fascist, capitalist, whatever. Today, nobody even debates these issues. We all silently accept global capitalism is here to stay. On the other hand, we are obsessed with cosmic catastrophes: the whole life on earth disintegrating, because of some virus, because of an asteroid hitting the earth, and so on. So the paradox is, that it's much easier to imagine the end of all life on earth than a much more modest radical change in capitalism."

"Beware, cigarette coming up"

For the first time in my life I´ve got a job with no end. That means I don´t know when I´m going to quit, or even IF I´m going to quit, but that´s for another day to decide.
Anyway, I work as an assistant for blind people in a school. One of the tasks is to walk a 10 year-old girl to another school where she has religion-classes.
Walking with her to that school was one of the most exciting experiences I´ve had in a while. She noticed every tram that went by, she asked about unfamiliar sounds, she smelled a cigarette that someone was smoking on a balcony, and when smoking people was walking towards us, I said "Beware, cigarette coming up" and we laughed.
She told me about another girl that she knows and that "she smells like chocolate." She told one teacher has changed perfume...
It´s a new world, even for me. I couldn´t be happier to have gotten this job right now.

Ankan Watt

Angkor hwat.
What?
ANGKOR WAT.
what??
Ankor Watt
what?
Ankor what
Va?
ANGKOR WATT.
Wat?
Angkor Wat.


Angkor Wat är det mest berömda templet i ruinstaden Angkor i norra Kambodja. Tempelkomplexet byggdes av kung Suryavarman II (1113-1150) som en hinduistisk helgedom tillägnad guden Vishnu.

Cambidoan Street Vendor - " Hey, man, you wanna buy some crap?"
Tourist "Yeah sure, why not........"

A wow-effect

Thought about buying this bra, but I don´t want them to go wow.

Ingenting

På dagen är kassatanten kassatanten

Jag går förbi kvarterskrogen och ser alla de där som jag kunde indentifiera mig med, men som jag inte identifierar mig med.
Jag går förbi kontorsbyggnader och tittar in på alla de där som jag kunde indentifiera mig med, men som jag inte identifierar mig med.
Jag går på fest, jag går på utställning, jag går till arbetsförmedlingen, jag tittar på demonstrationståg och överallt hittar jag de där som jag kunde identifiera mig med.

På dagen är kassatanten kassatanten. På kvällen är kassatanten kanske en typ man möter på gatan och som man tycker att ser trevlig ut.

Pyjamasglo

Jag har aldrig vågat satsa på mina drömmar, för att jag är onaturligt rädd för att misslyckas och hamna i de ouppfyllda drömmarnas helvete.
Detta gör mig till den största fegis jag känner all times. Antagligen är det därför jag sitter här mellan världarna i pyjamasen och glor.


I never dared to believe in my dreams, because I´m shit-scared of failures and ending up in the hell of the unfulfilled dreams.
This fact makes me the biggest loser I´ve ever known. Therefore I sit here between worlds in my pyjamas.


Jag blev ju aldrig fotograf, men visst satan tar jag snygga bilder.

Old one

Vallila

So, I have moved to Vallila, a part of Helsinki. Vallila is perfect for someone like me, surrounded by secondhand-shops and people that look miserable just like me. Vallila is the place where you can go to the supermarket in your pyjamas and no-one raises a brow. Vallila is just the place where you can hide behind curtains and do what ever you like, and it won´t be called wrong. I like this place.

My animals showing things like they really are

Pete and Beverli

and more pics here

Longing

"There's a land far from here, far far away from home," he sings to the horizon. "You can't get there by boat."

...... . . . .. . . . . . . . . .

Köksfönstervy

This am seeing self when I see out per the window.
The is mine nya köksfönstervy.
I have displaced here today.
A sentiment of peace had nått me.

Jag känner mig lite konstig just nu.....eller, self feels me few queer currently

Jag vill inte ha barn.
Om jag får ett barn gör jag en ny människa.
Jag behöver inga fler människor. Speciellt inte barn.

.......:::::::::::: ... . .. . . .. . .
Same text translated through InterTran:

"I will nots have children. If self sheep one baby do self another mans. Self requires inga multi folk. Especially nots baby."

Jag gillar speciellt det där "multi folk".


Found in the dentist´s waiting room in Antigua, Guatemala

Den satans kærlighed

Förresten. Många tycks köpa säng just nu. Vad ska det betyda? Översvämning?

Many feel buys beds currently. What ska the signifies? Overflow?

Jag har kommit hem nu

Med andra ord ska jag försöka hålla mig något så när uppdaterad här. Komma med lite påståenden som "avokador är som gjorda för guacamole" eller "hon var så fransk att hon till och med hostade på franska."
Jag har lite längtat efter det här, att komma tillbaka till Finland och slippa svettas. Tillbaka till morgonkaffet och prylarna. Och nu när jag är här saknar jag bara Guatemala. Jag har till och med redan letat upp ett nytt projekt i vilket man jobbar med djur och mailat och frågat vad det kostar och om jag kan komma i oktober eller november, haha. Inte för att jag har tänkt åka. Men som en backup om det skulle hända något så drastiskt som att jag verkligen inte skulle stå ut med livet i Helsingfors. Man måste vara beredd på allt, annars lever man inte. Man måste ibland kolla vad vissa flygbiljetter kostar, inte för att man ska åka, utan för att man helt enkelt måste kolla vad de kostar.

Random pictures from the last few weeks

Went to Utila, got a room for free, including a semi-crazy doctor who gave this sign to Tom to walk around with.

Utila was all about dancing with random people in the streets. Even if just for a few seconds.

There is a certain charm with those local buses. Sometimes everything is so right its almost scary. The light, the sun, the people and the music from the radio. You want to stop time and keep that moment as a souvenir close to your heart forever.

There is a reason why Central America is Central America and Europe is just Europe.

After coming back to Casa Guatemala I looked into an old suitcase in our house and found 6 rat babies. Cute.

And of course - it pisses me off.

I am back in Rio Dulce after a short trip to Utila, Honduras.
Utila is a beautiful island, you go there with a boat, Utila Princess bounching through the waves for more than 1 hour, making all tourists puke and feel shit because we dont understand we have to keep an eye on the horizon.
Utila is also all about diving. The island is swarming with dive-centers and cool diving-people, but I didnt take the time to do a course. I was fine with snorkling, which I think is a further less complicated version of getting under the surface, and still youre having almost the same experience. When people put on wet-dresses and start fumbling with their complicated meters and whatnot that belong to the diving-business, I want to put on my non-existant heavymetal suit, groam, play Slayer, puke all over and scream undefined bad words.

Then we went to the biggest techno what ever music festival in the Caribbean (thats what they say) Sunjam 08. Its like a smaller version of the Thai fullmoon-parties and I wanted to go just to know what its all about.
Sunjam its just one of these parties that acts like its on MTV, with halfnaked girls, bikinies, expensive T-shirts and neverending bad techno music. The only difference between Sunjam and MTV is that you cant turn off Sunjam. Youre trapped in a stupid beach-show and have to act the same as everybody else, have to dance, have to say "this is aaawsome, just fantastic, I am sooo happy..." and of course - it pisses me off.

IT PISSES ME OFF that there are festivals like this, that are made only for tourists, which are not even aware of what they are doing. The entrance for Sunjam is 40$ which clearly puts the frames on it - real working Honduran people are not welcome. Only rich bastards with a fortune can afford 40$ for a night out, and all the tourists are rich bastards.
I feel ashamed that I go to Honduras to attend a festival that the majority of the Honduran population never will experience.

At least, I can say I survived Sunjam.
Photos coming up soon.

Human thoughts

People are leaving and people are arriving here at Casa Guatemala. I am in a weird mood, feeling more alien than ever, actually struggling to be human, to talk and do all those things that humans like to do, like going to Sunjam in Honduras tomorrow.
I just hope I can make it without exploding or being too weird and putting people off or scaring people or what ever. But I feel the BIG CRAZINESS coming up. Theres nothing to do about it.

Future

What ever you do, theres always this stupid "future" lurking around the next corner, saying "so what did you think you were going to do with me??"

Last day in Hotel Backpackers

Have been having a break for a while. One week of travelling like any other traveller around in Guatemala. Its something about me and travelling, I am never overwhelmed. I keep looking for things beyond the viewes. Theres something with only the names of those places; Lago Atitlan, Antigua, Monterrico... I guess fifty years ago these places were beautiful and calm, but now they are just full of US. Full of money, Americans, Australians and Europeans, which gives me a strange feeling I should just stay home instead.
Tomorrow I am heading back to the Orphanage in Rio Dulce for another two weeks. Guess I will be teaching arts and crafts as before, which I enjoy.
I have just started to think about what comes next already. Finland or Mexico? Music or freedom? I have no idea.

Guatemala

YES, Jesus actually was here the other day.











Me and Cris working hard in Hotel Backpackers.

Dance floor gone mad











Jesus, me and Peter









Descanso en Lago Atitlan









Me and Cris riding a motorcycle in Antigua










The fantastic fly-eater friend at Casa Guatemala.

World Experiences

Jaha. Sa var man i teven.

Yeeeees

Jag vill hem och gora musiiiik!! Nuuuuuuuu med manga un.
Sen ett citat:
"Sjalv har jag langt till graviditeten eftersom det ju fan inte finns nagra karlar. Men skengraviditeter finns det gott om. Haha."

Too many weeks

There is never time for anything here. I read all the posts i get and just want to tae 5 hours off to respond, but NO TIME! Thats new for me, as I used to spend many hours on the internet before, and now like half an hour every week...
I guess that is good.
Now I am a teacher in art and tuff, so thats like my thing. Wish i would have more visions and plans on what to do with all those kids that rush into my classes and go wild. I still cant remember what is the word for scissors in Spanish..
Rigt. Have to go. AGAIN. Wish I could bury myself here for 5 hours.

Love.

2nd week

Here is hot. Thats all I can think of. I am fine.
You dont feel like writing and analyzing in this place, its like the sun is erasing all reasoning and you find yourself just sitting on a bench, empty-headed.

Finally in Casa Guatemala

Hello. I am here now, on that other side of the planet, or the right side or what ever you want to call it. Had both an easy and hard time to get here, as my luggage got lost and my throat got sick and all such things.
Then I came to the volunteers house and was quite scared the first three days as I thought everything was kind of a disaster. My task here is to be the gym teacher and I have classes just like a regular teacher and kids who are both nice and not very nice.
In the evenings we have other activities with the children and all stuff I could write about just to bore you to death.
Anyway, I love the fact that there are cows walking around everywhere around my house. I love the fast that the monkeys and pigs are screaming at night. I love the fact that there can be terrible spiders hiding behind my bed and climbing over my legs at night when I dont know it. I love observing the other volunteers in the evening and just listening to people and what they have to say. I have stopped drinking coffee adn everything else. The food they serve at the orphanage are seen like allright or straight from hell. I belong to the allright-bunch. I just eat. Rice and beans, beans and rice, tortillas and overcooked vegetables.
You connect with some of the kids and others not much, I havent actually been that forward either, I let them come and talk to me if they want to, but I think they have seen so many volunteer people just coming and going and all wanting to be their best friend, so I thought Id give them a break.
I have thoughts about people in groups ans how I just cant stand groups. People in gropus become stupid and unreasonable. Kids in groups are not much better.

I wonder what I will write in one month, cause now there are just too many influences now at once, I cant really keep my head clear from anything.
Today will be the first beer in years it seems. I need it. The local beer is called Gallo. I fucking speak Spanish now.

White Nights

Woke up in the middle of the night and saw this in my window.
My favourite time of the year is here. The time of the White Nights! The time of sweet insomnia!