Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Thoughts about depression

I´ve done a lot of thinking these last few days, cause someone close to me is going through a pain I haven´t seen before in my life. I think I might never get into a real depression, because I seem to have something in me that almost automatically turns me upwards, just when reach the bottom. This sounds so stupid as I write it. But let me explain. When everything feels like shit I usually write down the factors that makes everything feel like shit. Then I see what I can change immediately. Usually there´s something that you can do something about quite quickly.
The problems with really deep depressions are, that you aren´t able to even develop a healthy thought about things like how to get better, because the option that there is a chance things will get better IS NOT THERE. Often you are not able to write a single line, even worse - to even take a look at your own life and the circumstances, and what you might be able to do about it.
My biggest problem these days is - how to give hope to someone that has lost every last fraction of what there is to hope for and believe in? How to inspire someone that wish he were dead? What to say? Where to begin with someone who TRUELY DOESN´T CARE?
Me in my stupidity thought a little good old therapy by talking and getting to the bottoms of the problems, will bring an easy relief, but I recognize myself getting more and more helpless, the more I see NOTHING improve - the days are just copies of each other with no pattern whatsoever.
Before, I was very sceptical to medications like "lucky pills", but I recognize I am changing my mind. I naively thought you could talk any person out of depression, but now I consider depression more like an illness, like any other fysical illness you might develop. Which needs treatment. If someone wants to die, that person is not well, and needs to more or less artificially get a new idea of what it is to feel happy.

2 comments:

d said...

I've since long preached the benefits of pills for this very reason. A chronically depressed person is in a downward spiral where the weight of the disorder in itself alone can keep the person down or push him in even further. The person is drained of energy and sense of purpose, so even if it was in theory completely doable, it is not in effect possible for him to turn the situation around.

In some cases, processing issues (discussing) can help, but often it's not enough. I feel the only way to recover is to somehow turn the balance of life for the better. This can happen, if by some bizarre coincidence a depressed person hits off with a nice boy/girl, starts going to a great school/job, etc, but these are a lot less likely to happen than to healthy people.

Drugs can, in some cases, give that needed lift. There's only a need to break the vicious circle; if the person is cured, the pills are no longer needed to stay healthy. Afterwards a person can see the previous condition for what it actually was, which during depression is an impossibility, and is then wiser for the experience.

Lotta said...

exactly, d!