Thursday, November 29, 2007
Mostly life is just as interesting as Ängelholm station on a Tuesday morning. It´s like nothing is even allowed to happen, as if everything is doomed to just continue on in old tracks like it has always done - but the opportunities I have to just fuck it all makes me crazy! The intensity that living gives me is unescapable. It´s there all the time. When I wash my dishes, when I bring the milk inside from the balcony cause the fridge is broken - it is there. Even if everything I do and say is accompanied by the greyness of November, of the sound of water splashing against the street from cars - it is there, it is there. All the what should I do´s and don´ts. The quiet echoes from time bumping against walls.
Some moments are so creeping silent that you just want to stab a knife right into them or fast forward them until the next exciting thing is coming along.
I make drastic moves just to feel alive. I escape everything just to be somewhere else, to feel different feelings, new sensational and overwhelming feelings that I haven´t felt before.
I am breaking up with Malmö again. The moments when going from one level to another hurt like hell, and I have them all the time as if I love them.
I am going home now.